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My first time was when I was 19 with my first boyfriend. I knew how the mechanics were supposed to work, kissy kissy, fondle fondle, put a little rubber on the penis before inserting into vagina and have some fun easy peasy, nice and easy right. Hell no it wasn’t easy peasy and it sure didn’t fit nice and easy. It was my first time to see a penis up front and in person and that thing was weird lookin, all stickin up straight like a stubborn cowlick, and I was like, and that is supposed to fit into me, nope nope nooope. My boyfriend knew it was my first time so he let me just sorta flick at it, push it down it and it would jump right back up again, and the ballsack what the hell are those dangling around for; those looked weirder than the penis with those testicals just floating around in a saggy skin bag. However, unbeknownst to be, this was a an enormous penis at 7 ½ inches and about as thick as a fat man’s wrist. After years of experience, I will gladly take this penis, but not for a first time. My poor vagina had no idea what was coming at it and if it could have it would have been all, aw fuck no I am outta here girl you are on your own.

Once I thought I was ready, I had no idea how much lube to use, but there was definitely not enough. It might not have hurt quite as much if there was plenty of lube to keep everything slip n’slidin, but that wasn’t the case. When that monster of penis got in, I felt my skin stretch and break and tear and rip; ouch ouch, beyond ouch, beyond fuck that hurts, and ended up around FUCK FUCKITY FUCK GOD DAMN IT HURTS, so yeah not good a whole lot of not good. I may have had an excellent education in the biology of sex and the human body, but there was never a lesson on if I am not comfortable with what is going on I have the power to stop it, if I am unhappy and in pain I have the power to stop it. Sex is something that happens between two people, but I will always have control over my own body. In that moment of insertion I would have abort abort, teleport me outta here, and stopped the sex or at least have said something about slowing down or easing up, but I had no idea that was an option.

He put it in and then I was no more than warm body for him to play with. If he had seen my face he would have stopped and if he had paid attention to any other part of my body other than my vagina he would have stopped. He was so focused on how good he felt, he never bothered to notice how bad I felt. He did not go slowly, he did not ease into me into, he went full throttle and he enjoyed me and I did not enjoy him.

Afterwards, I was bleeding quite a lot, I knew that was normal, but it seemed excessive, enough that I had to wear a pad to bed that night. The next day I was very sore and we did not have sex again for awhile and it took me years to be comfortable with penis in my vagina. Before I had a partner that took the time to explore sex with me and do things that made me comfortable and to explore sex in a mutual and balanced relationship, sex was fun, but it was never as enjoyable as I knew it could be.

Sex is great, sex is fun, sex is enjoyable, sex should be FUCK YEAH let’s do this, you, me, and several hours of a good time, but it took and a caring partner to show me this. First times stories should be a part of sex education because girls should not go into sex clueless about what is for real for real about to happen, how to control it and how to enjoy it.

Listen to the Podcast about First Times here!